Almost like magic…

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Courtesy of Story People (one of my very favorite things ever)

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EOS Chronicles: It’s Not Just Me

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You’ve called me Scrooge. That was probably fair. You’ve said I need to lighten up. You don’t even know the half of it. But friends, when it comes to the Elf on the Shelf, I am on solid ground. It’s not just me. A LOT of people find this little pixie just a creepy as me.

Exhibit A: People I want to Punch in the Throat Since its posting last Christmas, this piece has had more than two million views. Granted at least 50 thousand of them were me and my friends laughing hysterically, but that still leaves a whole lot more people who hate the little narc.

Exhibit B: The Atlantic Yes, indeed. Intellectuals even agree with me that this has just all gone too far. It’s weird. And I don’t like it.

And let me just say one more time for the record, I’M AFRAID OF THAT THING!

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Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String…

Sometimes I get a little obsessed with a particular thing. I know, shocking, right? Maybe because it’s Christmastime, maybe because I’m a maniac, but I’m fixated on Kraft paper and wrapping supplies. It’s just so lovely.

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And just for good measure, my obsession has a catchy little tune:

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Kindergarten spelling

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The Monkey is used to a fabulous teacher who knows how to read Kindergarten spelling. Netflix is not nearly as cool.

He was screaming from the other room, “The TV isn’t WORKING!” When I went to see the problem he told me he wanted to watch Garfield and Netflix is “BROKEN!”

I took a photo to show Charlie. I was all, “I know it’s technically wrong, but I’m kind of impressed with that for Kindergarten.”

He patted my shoulders, “Yes dear, our little boy is growing up. Very soon, he’ll be able to Google. Then who knows what he’ll be able to find?!”

I was nonplussed. “Why do hate me?”

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My Stalker is Playing Dirty

That scream you heard from midtown Little Rock last night was me, opening my mail.

You'll notice the label is printed and there's no return address.

You’ll notice the label is printed and there’s no return address.

My stalker is back, and he/she is hitting below the belt. Not only will I spend the rest of the Christmas season in my typical self-imposed psychotic state. Now…I won’t sleep because that damn Elf on the Shelf is gonna murder me.

I would throw it out, but I’ve seen Child’s Play. Those crazy things just come back…mad…because they smell like sour milk and rotten eggs. Either way, this ends badly for me.

I still don’t know who you are, Stalker, but when I figure this out, we’re gonna rumble. And I’m sending the freakish, homicidal pixie to live with you.

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Christmas Card 2012

The Case Christmas Card 2012 has begun to hit mailboxes from coast to coast and a couple on other continents (soon, very soon). Which brings to mind an important point, friends, stop moving so much! You’re hard to keep track of!

I wish I could send cards to everyone, but my husband’s head nearly exploded when he saw the list this year, which I swore to him was reduced from last year, and it was. But then I added some new people, and well… things got a little out of hand.

We really do wish you all the most wonderful of holiday seasons. May you know peace, comfort and good tidings of great joy!

CaseChristmasCard

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Things Got a Little Out of Hand: The Christmas Edition

I decorated the house for Christmas this weekend. Now my whole body hurts.

The Sparkle Tree: I declared I could not get one more piece of bling on it. Then Charlie was all, "You missed a spot, but I'm not telling you where." I think he actually wants to see my head explode one day.

The Sparkle Tree: I declared I could not get one more piece of bling on it. Then Charlie was all, “You missed a spot, but I’m not telling you where.” I think he actually wants to see my head explode one day.

The Family Room tree: This one has all the ornaments we've collected over the years, from my childhood to the new Spiderman one the Monkey got this year. The Joy bucket took a beating when the tree fell, but it's hanging in there. I'll do some repair work on the paint before next Christmas.

The Family Room tree: This one has all the ornaments we’ve collected over the years, from my childhood to the new Spiderman one the Monkey got this year. The Joy bucket took a beating when the tree fell, but it’s hanging in there. I’ll do some repair work on the paint before next Christmas.

The Table of Santa Tribulation: where we can very considerately mapped out years of abuse heaped upon that poor child at the hands of his parents. We figure it will save his future therapist some time.

The Table of Santa Tribulation: where we can very considerately mapped out years of abuse heaped upon that poor child at the hands of his parents. We figure it will save his future therapist some time.

The Advent Calendar: each envelope has a verse that corresponds to an ornament for the Jesse tree.

The Advent Calendar: each envelope has a verse that corresponds to an ornament for the Jesse tree.

Wine Bottle Advent Wreath: the labels need to be reworked. That might happen this year. It might not.

Wine Bottle Advent Wreath: the labels need to be reworked. That might happen this year. It might not.

The Dining Room Table

The Dining Room Table

Gold mesh, flung on the floor in a fit of rage because it would not cooperate. It's all sweetness and light in my house at Christmastime.

Gold mesh, flung on the floor in a fit of rage because it would not cooperate. It’s all sweetness and light in my house at Christmastime.

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