Santa, Hearing Impairments and Magic

I’m on Day 3 of the 2013 Kerri’s Body Work Stoppage. It seems my organs got together and went all Norma Rae on me. They decided they’d had enough and demanded rest. So they began rejecting food and forced me into bed. It’s fun to live in this body that pretty much does whatever it wants. (In case you couldn’t tell, that last sentence was written with the sarcasm font.)

Before I took to my bed, we managed to make our annual pilgrimage to see Santa. It went reasonably well this year. On the way over, I was practicing with the Monkey what he would say.

Me: Pretend I’m Santa. What’s your name little boy?

J: MOM! Santa knows my name.

Me: Of course he does. Sorry. Um…so Jackson, have you been naughty or nice this year?

J: MO-OM!! Santa knows! He has the list! Why are you being like this?

Me: Right! Yes, well I’m driving, so I got distracted. OK, so Jackson, you’ve been a good boy this year, what would you like?

J: I want a jet, a plane, a truck, a ninja and Schlotzky.

Me: Now, we’ve talked about the Schlotzky situation honey. That’s really hard toy to find. Santa may not be able to get it for you. You don’t always get everything on your list. But you’ve got a good list there, and I bet you get some of the stuff on it.

J: I bet I get Scholtzky. Because Santa’s magic. You said so, Mom. And he can get anything.

Me: We’re here. Let’s just go in and see.

I couldn’t hear the entire conversation but everything seemed to go just fine. There were no tears. Jackson still stood about six feet away from the jolly old elf. Santa is getting a little hard of hearing, and it was pretty loud, so I’m not sure how clear the conversation was. I intend to use that in my favor later.

Because here’s the thing, Disney only sells that stupid Schlotzy car in set with ALL the other Cars 2 cars. And that costs $200. Also, we already have all the other Cars 2 cars. I’m not spending $200 to get the ONE car from the movie he doesn’t already have, when I also know that Disney will begin selling that car next year individually for about $7.50. Because not only is this Momma cheap, this Momma has a little common sense. And I’m not doing it. Even if I had $200 to blow on cars we don’t need for no reason, that’s just stupid. He can wait… and learn to live the disappointment of a partially deaf Santa who obviously didn’t hear him.


They seem to struck a deal.

They seem to struck a deal and sealed it with a handshake, as they are gentlemen.


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