Charlie was sorting through the mail this weekend. He handed me a postcard with the most exciting name in the history of the world: Nielsen. He asked me what he always does when he doesn’t know what something is, “You care about this, or is it trash?”
I actually squealed like a little girl, “Do I care about this?! This is only the most exciting thing that has ever happened to us!” I might have cackled in an evil villain way. Power can do that to a person.
In case you don’t know, Nielsen is the group that measures television ratings. In some markets, they install meters on televisions to see what people watch. In Little Rock, they send television diaries to randomly selected families to keep track of what they watch.
We are apparently in the running to be a Nielsen family, which I desperately want to be. The post card was to tell me a survey was on the way. I filled it out honestly and returned it. I pocketed the two American dollars they gave me for my time.
Full disclosure: The survey asked if anyone in the family is employed by or owns a television station, radio station, cable system or satellite system. No one is or does. It did not ask if I worked in advertising or public relations, which I do. It also did not request any level of secrecy about this process. So obviously, I’m blogging about it.
Now I wait and hope. If we are selected, I am willing to be bought. If there is any show in particular you want to keep on the air, let me know. For the right combination of liquor and cookies, I can help you out. Someone has to make sure trashy TV stays on the air. I take this responsibility seriously.