I forgot it was picture day at Monkey Boy’s school. I partly blame Baby Daddy because he forgot too. I let the kid dress himself. He chose a t-shirt that reads, “Boys will be Boys.” It has a popsicle stain on it.
When I think of school pictures, all I can see is my Nano’s mantle with a row of framed 5x7s of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. In my mind, I had planned for her great-grandson to wear a cute shirt with a collar. He was going to look respectable in that lineup.
Don’t give me that crap about how he really looks at school and preserving precious memories. Picture day is not about documenting reality, it’s about making your child look like you wish they did. Otherwise, they’d send a photographer into the classroom to shoot candid photos.
We got the photos back yesterday. For the next year, my child will half-smile at all visitors to my Nano’s house with popsicle on his shirt and hair all askimbo… because I’m mother.of.the.year.