Progress Report {Things You’re Not Supposed To Say}

When I was in elementary school, every progress report I ever got was the same. I was a bright girl. I did well in school. History, Math, Science, Reading, subject after subject the mark was the same: S – Superior. I understood school. I was given work. I did it the way I was asked. I got good grades.

I did well, except in one category. Four times a year, I had to bring home the report card with the same dark stain. Controls Talking: N – Needs Improvement. No matter how much I tried, and I really did, I could not improve. It’s like my DNA needs my mouth to move.

There have been a series of events this week that brought it all back. I talk too much. I say what I think. I write what goes on in my head. Some of it’s funny. Some of it’s clever. As it turns out, some of it’s abrasive or offensive. Some of it’s irritating.

I’m a lot to take. I’ve known that for a long time. I try to edit, hold back, be socially acceptable, but I never quite get there. I’m the girl who says the things other people think, but don’t say out loud. That has consequences.

I get private messages from some people thanking me for finally being the someone willing to say “it,” whatever it is, out loud. I also get a blow up of comments on my blog about a joke missing the intended mark, and hitting too close to home on another. I get reminded people who matter don’t find me nearly as charming as I find myself. My family is confused by my willingness to write about my life on the Internet, but my failure to pick up the phone. My husband, who fell in love with a loud-mouthed broad, is sometimes annoyed by my inability to just let some things go.

My control over my talking still needs improvement. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever improve enough.

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7 Comments

Filed under Things You're Not Supposed to Say

7 responses to “Progress Report {Things You’re Not Supposed To Say}

  1. I find it amazing what other people say to us– I had a fellow humor writer write me offline to tell me how to ‘liven up’ my prose… so my readers would read my work!! Keep talking girl 😉

  2. Oh, honey. We all struggle with the balance, and, for what it’s worth, I think you do a pretty ok job. 🙂
    I don’t tell you often enough how much I love your writing, and I totally should.
    You’re amazing.

  3. You are very much needed in this world! God designed you to be and do exactly who you are and what you do! Love you just like you are!

  4. Ty

    Ha-ha!! I know exactly what you mean. I’m the exact same way and it often (unfortunately) offends my wife, among others. I’m learning to keep more of my opinions to myself. Some people get offended easily. I’m not one of those people. I just don’t care enough about what most other people think of me. But I have to remember that many people do care, a LOT, about what other people think of them. In many ways I pity those people. But I don’t think it’s my job to toughen them up, so I’m learning to be more couth. Maybe sometime we can get together again (when my wife stops puking) and say exactly what’s on our minds without fear of causing any permanent damage to the other person. 🙂

  5. KatieMc

    God has given you this gift. He will continue to show how to use it for your/our good and His glory. PLUS I’ve seen your judicious restraint with sensitive info and I’m damn proud of you!!!!

  6. “My family is confused by my willingness to write about my life on the Internet, but my failure to pick up the phone. My husband, who fell in love with a loud-mouthed broad, is sometimes annoyed by my inability to just let some things go.”
    I don’t consider myself loud-mouthed, but when it comes to writing or blogging or chatting with friends, etc. I tend to ramble… a lot. I know it gets annoying. I know I say things that make some people uncomfortable. The difference between you and me is that I was not at all like this as a kid. It has happened since college and especially since marrying my social butterfly of a husband. And now that I’ve had a taste of it, I can’t stop. Sheesh.
    PS… I hate phones.