High Pressure, No Talent

I got an email from Monkey Boy’s summer program today. My stomach is in knots. I feel sick. I am in a full-on Mommy psychotic state.

talent show

A TALENT SHOW?!? He’s five! He has no talent… if you don’t count the exceptional ability to drive me crazy.

Look people, I did my best during your red shirt/bring-a-nickel-for-a-charity days. I survived field-trip shirts and water-play/flip-flop meltdowns.

Have you forgotten he came to Luau Day as a white-trash mainlander because I forgot to get him an appropriate costume? On Disco Day, he wore his Blue Angels shirt, and I told him he was a College Republican.

This is just too much. I cannot teach my no-talent kid a performance-worthy act in ten days! This is just.mean.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “High Pressure, No Talent

  1. Give him the whistle and let him go. Something tells me five minutes of that on stage will get talent day cancelled permanently.

  2. this is the. funniest. thing. i have ever read. thanks for that.

    and i feel pretty good about J’s ability to pull off a stand-up comedy routine. a couple jokes, his signature grin, a few thigh-slaps, you’re golden.

  3. Pingback: Stage Mom | Damn You, Little Rock