Just Mean {Things You’re Not Supposed to Say}

For the past few weeks, I’ve been writing about Things You’re Not Supposed to Say. I did this because I think the reasons for not saying them are stupid. But there is a category of things you actually shouldn’t say. And there’s a good reason: it’s just mean!

There is no good reason to ever be mean. There are times when a truth must be told, and it will hurt. Those times must be approached delicately, with as much love and care as can be achieved. There is never a time for cruelty. It is not acceptable to deliberately hurt another person.

For instance:

  • Under no circumstances should the size of a pregnant woman be mentioned. Ever. The only acceptable thing you may tell her about her appearance is, “You’re beautiful.” (Gentlemen, repeat this advice to yourself on a regular basis.)
  • Do not tell your friend who has just been through a bad break-up you “knew all along he was no good.” If you knew all along, you should have had one of those tough love conversations during the relationship. After the fact is just rubbing her nose in it. Shut.up.
  • Junior High is over. If you are using any form of the Internet (blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.) to do the 21st Century version of passing ugly notes about other people, grow.up.

Keeping toxic secrets is not healthy. Frank discussions about tough topics are necessary. Supporting each other because it’s really difficult to just be human sometimes is so important. But keep your ugly baby comments to yourself. That’s just mean!

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1 Comment

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One response to “Just Mean {Things You’re Not Supposed to Say}

  1. KatieMc

    A favorite of mine: “Are you feeling ok? You look a little peaked.” Most of the time, I’m feeling fine, thanks. Appropriate alternative: “How are you feeling? I mean, really. I’m not just asking to be socially polite. I really care.”