This life isn’t perfect {Things You’re Not Supposed to Say}

A few weeks ago, I stumbled across this TED talk by publishers Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman. Sorry, but you’re just going to have to take a few minutes and watch it too, so you can know where I’m going with the rest of this.

It struck me so profoundly about all the things you’re not supposed to say about being human… about living a life as a flawed, human person in relationships with other flawed, human people.

  • Sometimes, I don’t like my kid.
  • There are days I actually drive around the block to avoid going home for just a few more minutes because the peace of my car is really nice.
  • My husband had been known to make me so mad my head could explode.
  • I have more than once considered packing my bags and just leaving and never telling anyone where I’m going.
  • I have no idea what I’m doing.
  • I hate our dogs.

I come from good people – crazy people to be sure, but good people. I have always been loved. I have never known hunger that was not self-imposed. No one has ever abused me. I live in a nice home. I have wonderful friends. Absolutely no one wants to hear a woman in my shoes complain. It’s tacky. It’s ungrateful. It’s ridiculous.

But life is not perfect. There are legitimately tough things that happen to all us, even when things look super from the outside. And I think we would all be served to talk about them a little bit. I think if we all had a better idea of what was real and what was a big, fat lie in domestic life, then maybe we wouldn’t feel like something was wrong with specifically us because we’re not blissfully happy every moment of the day. Because you’re supposed to be happy dammit! You have this great life and kid and house and friends!

Every Tuesday in March, I’m going to write the things you’re not supposed to say… or at least out loud. I’ve always been the person who says things she wasn’t supposed to anyway. This will just be a little more formalized way of doing it.

They Babble publishers got us off to a good start. What’s on your list? What are the things you’re not supposed to say but really wish someone would?



Filed under Things You're Not Supposed to Say

6 responses to “This life isn’t perfect {Things You’re Not Supposed to Say}

  1. I love my husband, a lot. But that ‘packing up and leaving’ thing? Totally have considered it. Numerous times. Not because I want to escape him, but because I’ve never truly been on my own. I’ve never been capable of it. And yet now? I think I could. And I’m really curious what that would be like.

  2. Chaska

    Love this blog post. My one thing my Mother tells me I should not say out loud is “I like being single”. I now mostly do it to get a rise out of her for shits and giggles. But the honest part about it is…though I do get tired of being alone on occasion…those times do not out weigh the times where I’m so glad I’m not tied down to someone…I stay single for selfish reasons and my Mother is appalled.

    A few months ago my Mother, overheard by my 10 year old daughter, said “I’m going to pack my things and never come back” The poor child came to me crying and upset that she would never see her Nanna ever again.
    Mom…now who should keep her mouth shut? Eh?


  3. Thank you for this! It’s exactly what I needed to read and have been struggling with lately – not from the parent perspective, obviously, but, you know… just life in general. Especially as it relates to my recent plan to hibernate in a cave for the foreseeable future. 🙂

  4. Pam C. Pruett

    We’re raised to do and say, “The right thing”, it is so refreshing and comforting to know….I am not alone!!!!! LOVE your blog, thank you for starting it 🙂

  5. you had me at “This life…”

  6. Had to come out of the woodwork to tell you I love this post. No matter your circumstance, life isn’t easy, even when it feels ungrateful to think that. The myths surrounding the domestic fairy tale don’t help. Wine helps sometimes, though… Thanks for the post!