Big Doings in these parts. I have decided to give working a straight job another chance. This is both thrilling and terrifying.
It’s thrilling because I think the job is a good fit. It’s the kind of work I like to do, and I already know a lot of the people and think they’ll be great to work with. It’s terrifying because I haven’t faced the prospect of getting to work every day, dressed like a normal person, in two years and 25 pounds. Believe me, I checked if I could pass off my pajamas, I mean workout clothes, as professional. It would seem that isn’t going to work out.
This weekend I did the unthinkable. I went back into my old closet filled with, quite literally, thousands of dollars of beautiful clothes and started trying them on for size. I made four piles:
- can make it work
- hopefully soon
- get serious
But since none of them fit, it was really only three piles. I packed up the “get serious” pile to donate. The “hopefully soon” pile was put back in the storage closet and “can make it work” is the pile I’m building from. I went shopping for some pieces to get me going again. With the help of a couple of salesgirls who couldn’t have been more than 22 (so of course they know what’s appropriate for the workplace) I am allegedly ready to strut my professional stuff with style.
I’m not sure I’ve ever gone to work at 8am every day. I’ve pretty much always had schedules that made me come in super early (4am anyone?) or after the morning rush (9am…ish). Either way, I’ve had the luxury of getting ready alone in the mornings. Somehow, a week from today, I’m going to have to get everyone out the door and deposited in their proper places before I’m usually done with my second cup of coffee. For those of you who do this every day, and have for years and are at this moment howling with laughter at me, I understand. I salute your brave work. I will be joining your ranks soon.
There are also a lot of logistics involved in this transition beyond just looking good. I have to adjust our day storage plan for Monkey Boy. This will mean more time for him to run wild with his friends after school, which will thrill his soul. I won’t lie. I’m gonna miss the couple of hours we have in the afternoon just to ourselves before Baby Daddy comes home from work. He tells some pretty great tales during that time. We’ll have to adjust and figure out other connections. It’ll be good, just different. Ours is family who thrives on structure. While it’s been nice to run a loose schedule for a while, we’re just better in a tighter constructs.
Mostly, I’m grateful. I’m so happy to be healthy enough to work again. I’m thankful for friends and colleagues who believe in me and supported me all along my not-always-easy-to-understand path. I’m grateful for a husband who saw the signs, when I didn’t, that it was time to stop moving and be still and forced me to stand in place long enough so I could listen. So now I’m off and running again.
Wish me luck.