Life Phases

Like most of my friends, I’ve spent roughly the past 15 years in the “marriage and baby” phase of life. It was actually a little tiresome. Showers, gifts, pretending to care about which shade of white the flower girl should wear. Don’t look at me like that, you know you’ve sat through those conversations. God help you, if you’ve been to a baby shower with a recent birther talking to a soon-to-be birther. There is just no reason to say the word “placenta” while I’m trying to eat cake.

The one thing you could count on: somebody was happy. Either the bride, the mother of the bride or the expectant grandmother took her place in a chair at the front of the room absolutely beaming with joy.

Not sure when it happened, but I seem to have crossed a threshold. We now appear to be in the “death and divorce” phase. This past week, I found out about three couples splitting up and my extended family faced the pain of suicide. No one is having a good time. As much as I thought I would snap if I ever heard “Cannon in D” again, I’d take a reading of 1 Corinthians 13 any day over this.

There’s not really anything to do about it all. Just try be a comfort when possible, a friend when needed and a neutral party when asked. In the mean time, I’m going back to some happy music in my head. I don’t really think I can dance my way out of this phase, but maybe I can dance my way through it.



Filed under The view from here

6 responses to “Life Phases

  1. Maybe Brad and I were lucky, we wed on a beach in Jamaica alone. The only wedding we got drug through was his brothers. Somehow that phase just skipped us.
    Is it too much to ask that the death/divorce one skip us too?
    Good luck with the dancing.

  2. I hate that you are in this place. There’s no snarky in this post at all. But I suppose you can’t be blissfully snarky all the same and maybe this phase will make the happy times sweeter.
    If I were going through crap I would want you in my life to turn to.

  3. KatieMc

    I love you.

  4. Melody

    Just so you know, “placenta” comes from the Latin word for “cake.” So discussing one over cake isn’t etimologically inappropriate.

  5. Jim Herndon

    Phases for men are completely different. After graduating and swearing to repay all student loans, we begin the Proving the Family We Are Not Useless Phase. this can last up to a lifetime, depending on your relationship and your personal work ethic. The second phase is the Hang On To What You’ve Got Phase. With the economy fluctuating like your stomach after a bad burito, job security becomes paramount. It is amazing how interested we are in our company’s stock performance. We don’t relate to feminine phases because their are emotions attached(however fake). We muddle through life on a wing and a prayer and with the help of a superhuman woman we will probably do okay. By the way, what is a placenta?

  6. two of the best. songs. eva.
    love you friend…