Color-Coded Terror Alerts Go Dark

The Department of Homeland Security announced it will retire the Rainbow Bright fear color-coded terror alerts in the next 90 days. Have trouble following that last sentence? That’s OK. Most people never understood the system to begin with.

In one of the few moments in time I was predictively right about something, I predicted this. I feel compelled to brag about it now because it’s my blog and I can do what I want to.

Scene: Newsroom editorial meeting 2001

color coded terror alert

Producer: {listing stories in her show for the day} …and [reporter] is covering the new color-codes for terror alerts.

Me: and there is absolutely no way anyone will ever understand what the hell that is all about.

Producer: (taken aback) I read his story. I think it’s clear. He’s got good graphics to explain it.

Me: I have no doubt in his ability to explain the system. I do not believe the average person will ever grasp it. We’ve been trying to explain the difference between Tornado Watches and Tornado Warnings to people who live in Tornado Ally for how many decades? And they still light up the phones during every single thunderstorm trying to figure out if they need to get in the bathtub or not. They will NEVER grasp this.

News Director: Fair Point. What else is in the lineup?

Ten years later, I get the dubious honor of having realistically predicted the IQ of the American public. I’m not sure I should really brag about that.

Nevertheless, should you feel that airports haven’t sufficiently frightened you, just turn on your local news. Do have any IDEA what in your drinking water?!?


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One response to “Color-Coded Terror Alerts Go Dark

  1. My issue: it was never anything BUT orange. Orange. Always.