Mind Your Manners {People, Please}

Other blogs use the new year to make you thinner, healthier, richer or smarter. Every Tuesday in January, my blog will let you know the things you do that annoy others, so you can stop. It’s about improving you, so my life will be better.

In 1988, Robert Fulghum, made a bazillion dollars reminding everyone of basic manners. You don’t have to be Emily Post to understand the appropriate way to interact with other people. And yet, every day I am confronted by people who obviously have neither home training or a Kindergarten education.

We’re well into the second semester of school, and yet the same three cars are unable to master the line at carpool. (I’m looking at you, Blue Durango.) If you are that desperate to pick up your child FIRST everyday, arrive.earlier. I’m rolling up in there at least five minutes late, so if you’re trying to manuever around me, you are not making this a priority. So stop changing lanes every two seconds to inch ahead! Also, is there GOLD in your soy, non-fat latte? Because otherwise, there is no reason to be pushing people in the Starbucks.

Worse than the line cutters are the litter bugs. Really, when was the last time you looked around a conference room after a meeting? It’s like a carnival came through: paper on the floor, cups sitting around, if there was food, it’s just flat disgusting. People, please. Pick up after yourselves. Your mamma doesn’t work with you, go to meetings with you or volunteer with you.

The most repulsive group of all, are those who lack basic hygiene. All I’m gonna write is this: wash your hands.

Now for the quick refresher course:

All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

  • Share everything.
  • Play fair.
  • Don’t hit people.
  • Put things back where you found them.
  • Clean up your own mess.
  • Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
  • Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
  • Wash your hands before you eat.
  • Flush.
  • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
  • Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
  • Take a nap every afternoon.
  • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
  • Be aware of wonder.
  • Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
  • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.
  • And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

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4 Comments

Filed under People, Please

4 responses to “Mind Your Manners {People, Please}

  1. Oh, I agree with this rant so much. Everything on that list has something to do with the bigger picture. My school library is my “office” but when we had meetings in here teachers tended to leave papers, cups, food plates, their diet pepsi bottles and their chairs all everywhere-then leave the meeting. I found it ridiculous that I should have to remind grown-ups to pick up their own stuff. They do now though. Thank you for sending out this reminder. Hopefully, Blue Durango is a reader!

    • I am a teacher and we are THE WORST – we bitch and moan about dirty slobby kids and then do the very same….On behalf of my profession as a whole…I’m sorry:)

  2. Oh, don’t get me started on pickup lines. It’s a 2 lane road and it becomes a 3 LANE road. Just be patient. Please.

  3. This was well written and just good sense…

    I wonder, is there ANYWHERE that you have to go “that badly” that requires shoving and cutting in line?

    I remind myself of this daily when I realized I am 10 minutes late and I should hurry…I take a deep breath and assure myself that any amount of “hurry” will not make me on time and only result in pissing others off:)