Why do you ask? {People Please}

Other blogs use the new year to make you thinner, healthier, richer or smarter. Every Tuesday in January, my blog will let you know the things you do that annoy others, so you can stop. It’s about improving you, so my life will be better.

Donna Reed Show

The Donna Reed Show - the perfect family

No matter where you are in your life, no one is ever satisfied. Baby Daddy and I had been married mere days, hours really, when people began to ask when we would have a child. Really? We said, “I do” 15 minutes ago. Monkey Boy had been in our home for all of 6 hours when questions about a sibling began.

I know successful, amazing women who are regularly asked why they aren’t married; happily married couples who are constantly asked to defend their decision to remain childless; and parents of singletons who are berated by strangers for not producing multiple heirs. Of course, my friends who go over the socially-prescribed-2-child limit are constantly berated for not understanding proper birth control methods.

People, please. The stage of a person’s life is simply none of your business. There are only two possibilities: choice or circumstance. If circumstance, you’ve essentially called them a failure because the planets didn’t align in a particular way for them. If choice, then you’ve told them you disapprove. Both are just rude.

Beyond that, all of these questions imply there is a singular, appropriate road to an acceptable life: heterosexual marriage with 2 kids, one of each gender, a home in the right neighborhood and a dog. Any life besides that one is just wrong. It’s time to get past 1958. Families come in many forms: straight, gay, married, single, kids, no kids, adopted, mixed race, pets, hairless.

And it’s none. of. your. business.

The technology part of this rant is done much better than I could possibly attempt to by Louis CK:



Filed under People, Please

7 responses to “Why do you ask? {People Please}

  1. adnguestblogger

    I have a hairless pet so I’m doubly blessed. 😉

  2. If I had a dollar . . . . .

  3. Jaclyn Walker

    The story of my life right there!! No children and married for twelve years, everyone still assumes it’s just right around the corner. I give up!!

  4. I love this post. It’s up there in my top 5 favorite posts of yours. Do you remember the one I wrote because an idiot woman at Kroger looked at the four girls in my shopping cart and asked if we were going to try for a boy?

    People. Please.

  5. David

    Have four of my own, just this week had a couple from church lecture us at length about the evils of overpopulation. It – really – is – no – one’s – business!!

  6. runforcharity

    Awesome post. We have four and I wish I had a dime for every person who asked if we were going to have another in that oh-so-judgmental look as if we did have a fifth, it would bring on the Second Coming.

    Here’s a question I’d like someone to tackle – why do we feel we need to respond to these ridiculous questions?