We moved into this house New Year’s Eve 2009. I was so exhausted from Christmas and moving I went to bed at 8:30 pm sober as a church mouse. I also had mono cooking and didn’t know it. I had no idea yet, but this year would be defined by sleep. I spent 365 days trying to find rest and peace. I also spent an inordinate amount of time looking for my keys.
I saw innumerable medical professionals. I essentially became a blood donor in a quest for answers to my health issues. The blood tests ruled out Cat Scratch Fever. Baby Daddy speculated I had Dutch Elm Disease. I stopped working. I quit eating gluten. I got some answers. I’m finally feeling healthier again. I’m driving my family a little bit crazy, and think I’m gonna start looking for a part-time job to get out of the house a bit.
I wish I had wisdom to share from this year. Seems like losing a year of life would give a girl a chance take stock. What I know is life is not a movie. I won’t go back to school after Thanksgiving in New York and confront bullies with the help of my new blind retired colonel mentor. I also still don’t know how to Tango. I do feel a profound sense of relief that Christmas is over, and the glitteratti is packed up for the year.
It doesn’t really seem profound unless you knew the speed I was moving before, but I really have slowed down. I absorb the details of ordinary life in a way I didn’t last year or the years before. My heart feels a little softer inside my chest. I’ve become both more deliberate and more open to possibility than I used to be about my work. I have a renewed belief in magic.
I’m not sorry to see the end of 2010. I’m hopeful for 2011. May we all find some Joy and Peace in the New Year!