I love some Bravo reality TV. I started watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and basically lapped up every single show since, like it was coffee ice cream. Yes, I even watched Bethenny Getting Married? (I’m just gonna say it: I do not enjoy the Real Housewives of Atlanta. They’re just too.much.) It’s not surprising Thintervention with Jackie Warner is now on my DVR.
I totally want to be on this show, except I don’t want to do the therapy. I just want to keep on eating my feelings and do more and better workouts. I also want Jackie to go through my pantry and throw out bad food and then go grocery shopping with me. Besides being entertaining to see what kind of disgusting food other people hoard, cause you know you do it too, it’s actually educating. She talks a lot about the common diet mistakes people make. For example, many women eat yogurt for the calcium and protein, not realizing how much sugar some brands contain. She focuses on labels and healthy choices, not deprivation. This is actually useful information. Apparently, she has a book out about her whole plan. It could be worth a read.
The entertainment portion comes watching the out of shape folks on the show try to do workouts that would be difficult for trained athletes. OK, the actual entertainment comes from watching them snark at each other and Jackie trying to get out of the workouts that would be difficult for trained athletes. The other entertainment portion comes when Jackie “sneaks up” on the participants and “catches” them cheating on the diet or the workouts.
Now let’s be serious. The only way for me to be sitting on my own over-sized booty watching this is for there to be cameras there taping it. Which means, once the cameras show up, they KNOW Jackie is about to arrive. But they still do it anyway. It’s some weird teenage rebellion that makes no sense because they volunteered for this program. They chose it. There was no court-ordered weight loss or face jail time dilemma, so fine, I’ll do the workouts instead of the pokey. So why are they behaving this way? I guess that’s what their therapy is for.
While I’m having this righteously indignant moment in front of my television, it hit me again: who am I kidding? No one made me eat the giant piece of gluten-free cake for breakfast. But it was SO GOOD. I know full well what margaritas and cheese dip do to my waistline. But I eat them, and then stand there and stare at the scale like it’s betrayed me in some way. There is no secret to good health. There are also no shortcuts. Certainly, there are mistakes I’ve made, like the yogurt one for instance, but that’s not the bulk of my bulk.
Now I quietly climb down off my high horse. I’m pretty tired after the mental gymnastics I just went through. So I think I’ll take a little nap before I get on the elliptical.