Have a Good Day!

my drug stash

It’s not that Monkey Boy lies. It’s that his version of the truth makes me sound like a lunatic.

This morning he saw me taking my allergy medication and asked me about it. We had the talk about how he should never take medicine that doesn’t belong to him because it could make him sick. He got worried I might get sick. I told him everything would be fine as long as Mommy takes her medicine, and Monkey Boy takes his medicine. We just can’t mix them up. All was well.

I was feeling like a perfectly respectable parent… until I dropped him off at school. He looked up at his teacher with his big brown eyes and told her, “Everything is fine as long as Mommy takes her medicine.” I stammered and tried to explain our conversation. But I’m pretty sure I’m suspect now.

This is not the first time he’s done this to me. Awhile back, I found a box of my old toys in the attic. I pulled them down because Monkey Boy was about the right age for them. He saw the box in my closet. I told him to leave it alone because I hadn’t had a chance to wash the toys after quite literally decades in storage. When I dropped him off at school that day, he told his gray-haired, Pentecostal teacher, “Mommy has a box of dirty toys in her closet, but she won’t let me play with them.”

Somehow I knew there was nothing I could do to make that better. So I said the only thing a person can in that situation, “Have a good day!” And left.

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11 Comments

Filed under Monkey Boy

11 responses to “Have a Good Day!

  1. Check with me early next week… I may have stopped laughing by then!

  2. Out of the mouths of babes, right?

  3. This alone could be episode one of the KerriJack & Monkey Boy comedy hour.

  4. Liz Mathews

    you don’t know me, but Audreya shared your blog on facebook so i read it. i laughed so hard i had tears. just wanted to let you know, this was very funny. thank you for the laugh!

  5. Bec

    You’re not the only one. My oldest nephew (Googer’s older brother) had those talks of Good Drugs/Bad Drugs with my father, the pharmacist. During it they talked about allergy/sinus meds like he sometimes takes along with other things. Good drugs for one, are bad for another.
    Meanwhile, his parents had to explain to him What cocaine was (the child liked Johnny Cash and before his parents caught it, it was too late, he knew the word and asked.)

    Anyway–in class his teacher was having a similar talk, ‘Who knows what bad drugs are? Does anyone know?” Babboo (my nephew) raises his hand and calls out ‘COCAINE!!!” The undoubtedly startled teacher said of course it was, and moved on with the lecture.

    THEN she started talking about Good drugs and what they do for people. Once again she asked some form of question about these drugs or how they can help or what they are, Babboo excalims “XANAX! It’s a good drug!”
    (He meant Zyrtec, but there’s no telling what that teacher thought)

  6. Theresa

    That is hilarious…..I laughed out loud! You just never know what they will say – and it is ALWAYS at the worst possible time or to the wrong audience. Thanks for sharing!

  7. I literally laughed and scared the neighbors with this one.

  8. berit

    i’m fairly certain there will be a reality show in your very near future

  9. Jena Selva

    I CANNOT stop laughing! William asked me why I keep laughing. I had to make up a knock-knock joke.

  10. Leah Johnsey

    Thank you so much for the laugh this morning!!

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