I didn’t cry when Monkey Boy started daycare. I was ready to go back to work. I felt good about where he was. I was totally fine. When they called to tell me he ate chicken nuggets for the first time, I sobbed. I was ready for him to move from his crib to his toddler bed. When he moved to his full size bed, I almost had a break down. What I find emotional about his growing up experience makes no sense.
Today he starts his big boy school. There have been tears. I’ve had four years to get ready for him to start school. I knew full well it was going happen. There have been plans made, supplies purchased and tuition paid. There is no surprise here. But I am wrecked.
I don’t want to stop time, but could we slow it down, just a little. I believe this will be a great school for him. I’m glad he’s getting more independent. It just seems too soon. There’s a tardy bell at this school. I can’t just drop him off and pick him up when I please. There are rules. Actually, there are a lot of rules. There are lockers, not cubbies. He’ll wear roller skates in the halls. (I’ll have to explain later) It’s just all so big and grown up and too soon.
For the record, I was fine until dinner last night. He got up after supper and found a toy football. He yelled for Baby Daddy to play with him. They stood on the patio and tossed the football back and forth. It was so grown up. It was a great moment for father and son. They were both laughing and having a super time. And I saw it all in fast forward. He starts school and before I know it, he’ll be interested in fast cars and loose women. He actually likes both already, he just doesn’t quite know what to do with them. But it won’t be long before he does.
So if anyone has a plan for slowing time, I’m open to it. In the meantime, I’m gonna need some chocolate, liquor and tissues.