I got that scary email from the bank. You know the one that totally freaks you out. “We detected irregular activity on your Credit Card.” This is not the first time I’ve gotten this news. Once someone got our credit card number and bought a new car audio system. Since they gave the shop their actual address, they were pretty easy to catch. Another time, the card company called to see if we had indeed bought $400 dog food online. I’m not one to put monetary values on my pets, but I can assure you, they are not worth $400 of food. Our cell phone company once detected what they thought was fraud, “Sir, is your wife in Philadelphia? Because your wife’s phone is in Philadelphia, and it’s making a LOT of calls.” Baby Daddy simply replied, “Oh, that’s her. She has a LOT of words.”
So when I called, I was actually kinda excited to see what new diabolical scheme had been hatched by a potential thief. As it turns out, the irregular activity in question was again mine. Seems VISA doesn’t view ordering your Christmas cards online in July as “normal” behavior. As my friends have pointed out, virtually no one views this as normal behavior. I really like Christmas cards. It’s one of the few things I enjoy about the over-indulgent holiday. It’s also something I can do now, before the crazy days of fall kick up and I have no time to think much less address 250 cards.
I have written about this in the past, but I think now is a perfectly good time to revisit the subject of the rules of Christmas cards. (Of course, there are rules. Every civilized society has rules)
Whoever gets their cards out first, WINS!
- Cards cannot go out before December 1. That’s a false start in clear violation of the calendar order of holidays.
- All cards must have some hand written component to them. You cannot slap printed address labels on your printed cards and call it good. That is not a personal Christmas card. That’s corporate cardboard.
- All cards must somewhere have YOUR NAME on them. One would think this was learned in primary school, but apparently not
- I couldn’t care less what salutation they bring: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Holidays, whatever makes your heart happy, send it. I’ll receive it with gratitude.
- There is no mocking the maker and enforcer of the rules that exist only in her mind.
According to my calculations, you now have five months to get in the game. GO!