Big Boy Bed

Monkey Boy's new bed

Monkey Boy got a full-sized bed this weekend. He’s now too big for a crib or a toddler bed. This is the bed he will most likely sleep in until he moves out. I. Can’t. Breathe.

For the record, I’m not an idiot. I know this parenting thing is a temp gig. We get Monkey Boy for the better part of a couple of decades and then he’s on his own. If we do it right he calls us once a week to check in and we never have to bail him out of jail or put him in rehab.

Me & Monkey Boy ~ 6 weeks

I also know, barring divine intervention, this is my one shot. There are no plans for a little brother or sister for this kid. So as far as babies go, I’ve done my bit. Truth be told, while I have loved Monkey Boy since the moment I saw him, I didn’t really like the infant stage. One of my friends calls babies in the first year “the big sack of baby” time. They don’t DO a lot. The certainly don’t talk. They’re not funny. They have all these needs and pains and desires, and good luck to you Sherlock figuring it out. But there was this part of my day, every morning, when I got Monkey Boy out of his crib, and he would melt into my chest. I would just hold him for 10 minutes or so and I’ve never known such peace. That was sacred time. That time is quickly running out.

Overall, I like this time better. He is becoming this really fabulous kid. I enjoy his humor, his love, his absolute zeal for life. I’ve been calling him a toddler for as long as I can, but he’s a little boy now. If you ask him, he’ll tell you he’s a “big, strong boy.” He is, but he’s still the only little guy I’ve got. I don’t honestly know where the past 3 1/2 years have gone. We just got him! I worry I wish my time away. I wanted him to be walking, talking, potty trained… I’m so afraid he’s going to be driving next week and I won’t know where the time went. Then my time will be up, and he’ll be off conquering the world, and I’ll be left waiting for his weekly phone call.

This is why I’ve continued a career, tried to keep my marriage intact and kept interests that don’t concern him. I know that I can’t only be a mom or my life really will end when he’s gone.

I find comfort in how small he looks in his new bed. There’s still time. He’s still mine for a while longer. He still wants me around for just a little bit more. I have to be smart. I have to jealously guard our time together. I have to make sure to soak up every minute I can with this wild child. The next few years are going to have more and more of these big boy bed moments, and I have to figure out how to be sure I don’t wish them away, but to enjoy them as they happen.

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7 Comments

Filed under Monkey Boy

7 responses to “Big Boy Bed

  1. beeps

    Awwww-kerrijack! Drawing tears outta this old jaded mama…he’ll ALWAYS be your baby!

  2. I so now this feeling.

    This loss of breath.

    This realization that time is flying.

    Waaaaaahhhhahahahaha

    T

  3. I feel ya! I really got it between the eyes with my 2yo this summer. While I was overseas, the hubs put him in a big boy bed. It’s hard enough when you’re a part of the process, but to come home to….that! It worked out fine, and I didn’t gripe (you know, the holding the marriage together part), but it’s a milestone. Our daughter was closer to Monkey Boy’s age when we switched her over.

    Hope he loves it and stays in it! 😉

  4. Savannah

    Aw, Kerri. Your blog is quickly becoming my favorite.
    I think that in just knowing how you have to guard this time, to cherish it, to revel in the small-boyness of him, you are far ahead of the game. It is so hard to be present in each moment, each milestone of childhood; hard not to look forward to the next new thing, but being Right Now with him makes this time so very sweet.

  5. Tommy/Papaw

    Not that I’m prejudiced, but “Monkey Boy” just happens to be the most special little fellow out there right now. “How time flies” is a phrase more clearly understood as time passes. Enjoy every moment…you don’t get “do-overs”.

    BTW, you better start brainwashing him now on the “weekly phone calls”. 😉

  6. Allynson Bell Dale

    That made me teary eyed! My baby girl is now 6, and my baby boy is now 3. They grow up way too fast. Thanks for giving me the reminder to cherish my little ones every single day. They’ll be grown in a blink of an eye.

  7. Yep, I hear ya. My boys are 28, 21, and 11 and I know exactly how that feels. I was always sad when they got too big and heavy to carry around any more. I kept Blake in a crib until he was two and I let Matt keep his pacifier until he was four! I hated to see them grow up, but now that they have, they’re pretty awesome guys, and I still get a lot of fun time with them. Matt and I sit and have poke fights in church every Sunday which drives my husband absolutely crazy, but I don’t care. That’s my boy time.