My sweet Katy Kat came by to see me. Poor thing has been worn slick by life and its travails. She had a list of everything that had gone wrong in the past few days: cut off in traffic, locked out of the house, insensitive remarks by a friend, it went on and on. It was a real dead bird weekend. Feeling wise and maternal, I told her that no matter how good her life ever was, these sorts of things would never stop happening and that making lists would only serve to make her crazy.


After she left, I started thinking about the lists I have been making for my entire life: lists of things to do, lists for the grocery store, lists of insults, both perceived and real, lists of places I’d like visit, lists of clothes I’d like to own, lists of women who are thinner and prettier than me so I must hate them, etc. I wondered how healthy these are. Some are obviously useful, but others are doing nothing but making me crazy. (OK, crazier)

I went to a blogging conference this weekend in Vegas called SITScation. Sugar Jones spoke on the power of positive blogging, blogging for good, if you will. She wasn’t insisting that everything be all butterflies and rainbows, but that we are too often victims of our own destructive thoughts. What good does it do me to keep handy all the ways I don’t measure up? How is it useful to chronicle how people have hurt my feelings? How helpful can it be to keep count of all my daily disappointments?


I enjoy a good laugh. Odd stuff just seems to happen to me sometimes and writing about it here is fun. I’m judgy and snarky, and that’s never gonna change. Acknowledging where I come up short and trying to improve should be my constant work in this life. But keeping a running list of all the things that go wrong in my world serves no one. So for the rest of the week, I’m going to take my own advice to Katy Kay and keep a list of all the things that go right. I’m going to try to remember I’m blessed beyond measure and there are real problems in the world: war, famine, crime, and white shoes after Labor Day. Some people have serious troubles.



Filed under The view from here

6 responses to “Lists

  1. I’m so glad I got to be there at SITS with everyone… but even more inspired by all that the group had to contribute to this conversation, at the conference and in post-con posts. I’m glad you liked it!

  2. OH MY HECK. Did you just call me out on my WHITE SHOES at #sitscation?

    I love you and think you’re fabulous…you don’t need those lists.

  3. “dead bird weekend” – that’s a great way to describe a downer friend like this (and I use the term “friend” loosely). I have a co-worker like this and I finally had to just cut her loose. I just don’t need a Debbie Downer fix every single day from someone. It’s so much more fun to hang around with positive people like our SITS ladies! Glad I got to meet you this weekend!

    • Adrian, to be clear, Katy Kat is my sweet 20-year-old cousin who had a legitimately bad weekend. She is normally is very upbeat, especially given some of her life circumstances. She was just having a rough time, and venting to her “big sister.” I’m the one with the dark heart who has to remember to be positive.

      I do know what you mean about cutting people loose who could never be cheerful, but she’s not one of those folks.

  4. Laura

    i like “thosee lists” because especially when i am having one of those dead bird weeks i get to see how fortunate and lucky i really am…i know i am especially lucky to have met someone who is so much like me it could be scary. it’s not really, it is fabulous. i am SOOO glad you came over during the tea and pokened me!

  5. I do like the look of that list at the top, though…