Dress Code

I have for some time been complaining that dress casual may be the worst thing that’s ever happened to women in the workplace. Men know what to wear, but women are left wandering in the desert of twin sets, stretchy pants and sensible shoes.

Now we come to the party season. We’re past the society season, where it’s black tie or business attire and people pretty much understand how to clothe themselves. Now we’re into garden parties and “casual” fundraisers and calamity will befall more than one woman. This will not be entirely their own faults. I blame the organizers. Everyone is so obsessed with having the cutest invitation that no one gives out any practical information.

In the past two weeks, I’ve gotten invitations to events that tell me to dress “cute casual,” “casual casual,” and my hand to God, “campfire casual.” What could any of that possibly mean?! One well-intentioned person suggested that I wear whatever I’m comfortable in. I’m comfortable in my flannel pjs, but I’m certain that no one would be pleased if I showed up in that. Looking good has never even once been about comfort. If it was, I would not own multiple pairs of stilettos and Spanx would not be flying off the shelves.

So for the love of all that’s couture, would someone please send me an invitation that tells me what to flippin wear? And I swear if the words “martini casual” appear on card stock mailed to my house, I’m gonna lose my mind.

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