31-year-old Bacon Pledge

I went to my first meeting of the Junior League of Little Rock last night. I feel a little dirty. In their defense, everyone I met was incredibly nice, but it feels too much like sorority rush.

They use like words like “mandatory,” “no exceptions” and “required” A LOT. On the upside, there is the promise of booze. and pearls. I’m a 31-year-old pledge.

So far, though, no hazing. My husband heard from some sorority chick that he dated in his misspent youth (before I came along and made his life meaningful) that sorority hazing is when they make you lie on the floor and sizzle like bacon. This seems to mean that you have a bunch girls writhing around on the floor making a hissing sound. I have never heard this allegation, but even if it’s not true, it makes me laugh really hard at the imagery.  If someone suggests this, I can assure you, that will be the end of my Junior League career.


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